I just got back from the dentist...yay (she says sarcastically). While I was there, the dentist asked me why people always hate going to the dentist because he loved going when he was a kid. OK. I thought about this and came up with 10 reasons why I hate the dentist.
1. When I arrive, I sit around and watch kids playing with Lego that I am much to old for, but can't help wishing I was little again so I could join them. Actually the waiting room isn't that bad except for the fact that I am dreading the moment the hygienist comes out and calls my name.
2. The dentist and the hygienist ask me some questions about school and what I'm going to do over vacation, and they seem so pleasant...until....
3. The hygienist calls me sweet pea. 5 times. Nobody. Wants. To. Be. Called. Sweet pea.
4. The dentist and hygienist , while sticking multiple metal tools in my mouth, gossip about other people in the office and that wedding they went to last week. I don't know who they are talking about. It's really rude to talk about other people in front of me when I don't know what They're talking about.
5. When my mouth is open for too long, it is physically impossible not to swallow, but when I do swallow, I have to do it really carefully so as not to accidentally touch the SUPER DANGEROUS tool and cut my tongue.
6. They give me a pair of kid's sunglasses that I know are not the right size or shape for my face and then I wonder if I look completely ridiculous in them. I will never know.
7. As the dentist is drilling holes into my tooth, he asks me questions and kinda excepts me to answer. I don't know about you, but I can't really speak with my mouth open the widest possible.
8. The whole time, I feel like I'm watching a hospital scene in a movie when all of the doctors are crowded around the camera and it looks like their doing some really serious procedure... Except it is actually me and they are just looking right into my mouth.
9. The hygienist's job is to stick sucking tubes into my mouth, and then she tells me to close my mouth so that all the extra water is sucked away and instead of it going into the tube it squirts right out into my face.
10. Lastly, the worst thing about the dentist is that when it's finally over and I get to go home, it really isn't over. I'm stuck with a horrible taste in my mouth and numb cheeks for the rest if the day.
But, although the dentist is terrible, there is one good thing that makes it all better...
Thanks for reading my rant! Familiar?
xoxoxo
Nina
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